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Sunday, January 6, 2013

Start the New Year with some Insanity

No I didn't make any workout resolutions with Sean T. and no, I haven't become Winona Ryder in "Girl Interrupted". But I did play a show with my band, The Piranhas, and got the audience so worked up it ended up looking like the basement in Jeepers Creepers.

Jake and Al's was stuffed with patrons, laughing, dining, talking and thinking up resolutions they will probably break two weeks into 2013. The stage had been set. The soundcheck complete. The amps had a feint buzz, anticipating the metallic crunch of human hands gouging out rock riffs. The house music faded into silence. The stage lights melted from purple to blue to green to red. One by one, we walked onto the stage and kicked off the night a southern MD favorite, Steve Miller's "The Joker". The audience was hooked. We received applause after every song, people cheered at our solos and intently listened to our every word.

As the second set was in full steam, we began to pull out some of our harder hitting stuff, like "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Too Close" by Alex Clare. Influenced by a combination of our on stage intensity, an exorbitant amount of hard alcohol and the notion that the world was only moments away from ending, a large group of people jumped up on some of the dining tables and began to dance. Rage Against the Machine + glasses full of beer + standing on tables = oops. Almost in slow motion, like the titanic tilting vertically before its plunge into the frigid waters, the table wobbled and toppled onto the ground, almost a dozen people being flung off, shirts ripping, dresses coming up, beer and liquor spilling everywhere, glass shattering on the ground and screams and laughs rippling out of the falling bodies. The injuries were minor. If there were any major injuries, no one seemed to care too much, the new year held priority over broken bones and lacerations.

I actually got a kiss this new years! WOOOO!!!! Thanks Steph.


(Despite claims to the contrary a scarf does not make you gay. See?)

(Disclaimer; exaggeration)

The third set was the insanity I was talking about. The countdown to New Years had just finished. Confetti was everywhere. Fireworks were being lit and thrown at people.



Anthony (bass) was warping the tone of his Warwick bass using magic he learned at Hogwarts, Mike (vocals, guitars) was ninja kicking girls in the face, Sean (drums) was headbutting his snare drum. The inside of Jake and Al's started to look like an episode of The Walking Dead. Dozens of people were tessellated on the floor, motionless. Three riot patrol police officers were crawling out of the women's bathroom completely naked (someone had sprayed them with liquid L.S.D.). One woman took her 10 month old baby and Tony Romo'ed it into a wall (perfect spiral...oh no wait she missed, just like Romo, the baby is fine!). Yoda showed up.....naked. He is well endowed. Who knew? Everyone was screaming and punching each other, people were being thrown out, some 85 year old couple was making out on top of the bar. Right when I swore that we were all about to die from the same crowd we worked in to this rabid frenzy we finished out last song and breathed a sigh of relief. We had lived. The fourty-thousandth supposed apocalypse had been averted (seriously, people have been incorrectly predicting it for a few thousand years check it out). The crowd was winding down. What a night. New year's of 2013, I will not forget you. Never forget. Never give up. Never surrender. To infinity and beyond. Never let go Rose. I'll never let go Jack.


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