I Appreciate my Fans More and More

Although my following is still a very small one, there seems to be a slightly increasing amount of people who come out to see me from time to time. This is always a wonderful thing to see, of course, not only because it gives me a little bit of confidence in yourself (if I were atrociously, pants-shittingly terible this probably wouldn't happen) but also because (and I never really noticed this until recently) you begin to develop relationships, however seemingly minute or ephemeral, with new probably would have never known. It can be enjoyable, interesting, enlightening, maybe even strange, but I find myself sitting down during breaks or after shows and enjoying the company of my listeners more and more. It's comforting to connect with a complete stranger through a God-given medium (music)and begin mapping out each others souls over a beer and soft bar chatter. It seems to me alot of tension between strangers on the street that end in conflict seems to be linked with each person fearing something in the other. Singing along with people and then talking with them between sets gets the underlying social tension melting like snow in april.

I wanted to say thank you to all of you (every single one, and especially all my friends!) who have come out to see me at a show. I really enjoy seeing your faces in the audience and it always gives me a little rush when I see you guys walking in the door during a set.

Dylan

Wakey, wakey

So being employed as a full time musician, a.k.a. being a rockstar, I have an extremely late schedule. Waking up at and/or after noon or one doesn't make you a slacker when you work til' 1-2AM with a several hour drive back home. Anyone who says "wow, it must be nice to sleep til' noon" I would quickly reply "yeah and it must be nice to be able to fall asleep at ten P.M. and not just be just starting work.........douche". Anyways, that having been said, in the event that my blog posts are time-stamped, you may be asking yourself "why, Dylan, why would you be awake at 9:08 A.M?" If they are not time stamped, then guess what? Its 9:08 A.M. Anyways , you may be saying, "Well Dylan that's not very Rock-star of you, my grandma sleeps later than you" Well, my faithful blog reading buddy, its because I am renting from my family (which has up's-like a pool and really low rent and a living space I could never afford on my own......and down's-like being awake right now). And for the last few days and for the next few we are baby sitting some of our relatives little dog. This little dog is cute and fluffy, it is a Yorkie.



(Pwease, wuv me?)

Now before you go "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!" stop. This dog is not as nearly cute, and for some reason also seemingly less fluffy, when you are awoken at 7:30 AM for 4 days and counting because the dog begins to barking obnoxiously loud outside of your door when it's social anxiety disorder kicks in and it wants to get into your room. This repeated association (Pavlov, Pavlov Pavlov) of "cute little animal" with "extreme exhaustion and unhappiness" will immediately take the cuteness of it down several points on the 1 to 10 scale, possibly into the negatives. The rockstar schedule does not allow for the repeated waking up at a time when you can still catch the weather on the news. It is not a schedule that one should think about coffee and the sunrise and morning rush hour. This should all be slept through, like that skit on Saturday night live when Chris Farley is in a commercial for cold medicine that he drinks 3 gallons of and sleeps through the entire cold season. I should be sleeping through the morning grind; my cold season. But no, I am awash in a sea of torment, sitting next to a happy Yorkie, wagging its little demonic tail and smiling at me.

Song a Brewin'

Hey guys,

Its been a while since I've posted, I need to get into the habit of doing this every few days instead of sporadically. Well yesterday I finally decided to stop being a douche and put some hours onto a song I half completed. Its turning out great and as soon as I finish it, Im going to be recording it and posting it up on Youtube for all of you to see/comment/critique/enjoy. Its actually a song about Ingrid Michaelson. Now you're probably asking yourself why would I go ahead and do that? Well thats, simple; because I am stalking her. No, actually Im just really into her music and writing and I watched a few interviews with her and she seems like a really interesting person. I have a very distant dream of trying to date her. Of course this probably will never happen, but I think its a much better dream than trying to go for Katy Perry, since she seems secretly evil and is married to Russel Brant.


So this songs intention, of course, is for me to gain national success with it and her to hear and swoon like in Disney movies where all this crap starts orbiting around the head of the person who is swooning, you know what Im talking about, right?



(See, look at that face!? How could I not write a song for her?)

Anyways, when I finally crank this out, Ill post it up here and I hope you guys let me know what you think!

Snorkeling in Florida

Ok so the gigs went real well. Sorry to leave you all hanging for so long for that last one. But yeah, my grandfather is fine, my mom is fine, the bike is fine (he is still riding, he is hardcore) and we all had a great time down in Fl. I got to try para-sailing, jet-skiing and snorkeling all for the first time, which were three of the most exciting things I have ever done in my life. I recommend that everyone go out at least one time in your life and snorkel if you get the chance. Don't waste your time in the Chesapeake bay trying with the dead seagulls and jellyfish stinging you in the face; on top of its completely bland aquatic life, we've polluted that bay so bad its like snorkeling in a Porta-Potty. Next time you are on vacation somewhere where the water is clear and the fish are bright make sure you snorkel. We were snorkeling on the 3rd largest barrier reef in the world, so it seemed surreal the whole time having never seen blue water in my life and then seeing that. When you get to the real deep areas its a terrifying, beautiful experience. Watching the sea floor drop down about 50 feet and thinking about the sluggish leviathans that rule the deep will probably get your heartbeat going. Of course if you spot a shark that will work wonders, too. I actually didn't see any sharks, although I tried by swimming about 300 yards away from the group away from the barrier reef, but I saw a ton of fish I have never seen before and a couple monster size fish that were just wandering around in no particular direction. Maybe a song is in order? Oh yeah I can hear it now...."you're my sexy little fish lady swimming around with your big empty eyes and shaking your fin my way, oooo la la la"

Adventure to Key West (Part 2)

As we pass the scene of the accident by the off-ramp to a rest station, and now in a state of panic my mother picks up her cell phone, her hands shaking violently. She dials Poppop's number to make sure it was just a coincidence.......ring..............that the bike on the tow truck is another bike just like his.....ring.............and that he is safely riding his look-a-like bike a few miles ahead of us......ring.....his phone picks up. "Hello, mam, my name is Trooper Bonner with the Florida State Police". All our worst fears were confirmed in that moment. We cut across the 75 MPH traffic to the far left lane where we made a u turn a few miles down in the "Ambulance Only" U-turn through the median. We then had to pass the accident in the opposite direction and make another U turn to get back. We pulled up and all jumped out quickly. I walked over to the tow truck and started investigating the damage on the bike and the marks it left on the asphalt. My mother ran over to the squad car and started talking to the officer inside. From the scratches it looks like he must have been going 50 when he crashed...not a good sign at all. The officer told us he was at a nearby hospital, so we hopped back in the Lincoln and followed him to the hospital.

We stepped into a small room where Poppop was laying on a sterile looking bed with white sheets. He looked up at us with an exhausted smile and said something to the effect of "well, that was fun". It turns out, according to the doctor, he had no major injuries. A bruised buttock and a concussion were the only damages he incurred. For a 50 MPH crash on the side of a major highway, it was nothing short of a miracle. Trooper Bonner (almost bone-er, heh heh) walked into the room after his diagnosis and said "Hey Paul, Im going to need to ask you a few questions". As a short interrogation ensued, we stood in the room, pensively engaged at the dialogue between the officer trying to find who was at fault and our concussed Poppop. After the questioning, officer Bonner, with a slight air of patronization, made a strong suggestion to Poppop that maybe he should consider purchasing a smaller bike, as the Honda Goldwing is one of the heaviest bikes available. Poppop, even as he lay there in a hospital bed from his bike, stubbornly dodged the suggestion and retorted with something to the effect of "yeah, maybe Ill think about it"...

We met up with Zip out in the lobby of the hospital and got Poppop into Lincoln, where he instructed us we had to go back to the place where the bike was towed to inspect the damage. Im pretty sure by that point, we were all a little ready to be done with the bike, but we drove about an hour back up the way we came to see the damage. (Keep in mind we haven't even gotten to our destination yet and we had been on the road for almost 19 hours in the last two days). So after some old man grumbles and off the wall ideas of how to get it driving again, we convinced Poppop he must accept defeat and leave it. And we did. We high tailed it out of there, put him on a plane back home and we finally got to Key West at about 2:30 A.M.

I would tell you how the gigs went, but Im sick of writing.

The Adventure to Key West (Part 1)

So as some of you know my agent called me up and asked me if I wanted to play a series of shows at in Key West, Fl at Jimmy Buffet's own Margaritaville. But I wouldn't be going alone. My grandfather aka Poppop, his good ol' navy buddy Zip, my mom and her friend Janice. We decided not to fly. Now by "we" I mean "my mother" since she developed a flying phobia a fews year back. I was mostly indifferent since I wasn't thrilled with the idea of an airline making me check my guitar after I heard a horror story from a friend about a traveling musician who watched his checked guitar come around on the conveyer belt at the baggage pick up with its next broken off and hanging out of his destroyed gig case. Now with all of the luggage we would have it would be a real tight fit for the five of us, even in the SUV Linconln CR-X (with extra trunk space) we would be taking. But not to worry, Poppop and Zip would be traveling a different way. Despite my families best efforts to convince them not to, Poppop would be meeting up with Zip halfway and they would be riding their motorcycles. Keep in mind Poppop owns a Honda Goldwing. For you un-motorcycle riders, this is NOT a small bike. Well over 1,000 pounds, this baby sports AC, a radio, CD player, windshield wipers....I wouldn't be suprised if it had a sunroof and 4 wheel drive (somehow). Now, 1,400 Miles on motorcyles at 75 years old didn't make a large part of the family happy, but there is no arguing with a couple military men on a mission.

Poppop had already left more than an hour before us since he was coming from Upper Malboro about 50 miles north of us. We were coming from Leonardtown. I have to say that 6:00 A.M. is a terrible time. I would have woken up at noon and just driven the 1,400 miles non-stop, but you can't always get away with these type of all-or-nothing style scheduling when you bring family. I wish there was a Country wide decree that it is not legal for anyone to do anything at 6:00A.M. unless they are still awake from the night before. Nonetheless, my day started there. Like a malnourished POW, I shuffled to the car with my cables, guitar, clothes and thankfully, my Tempur-Pedic pillow (yes). A little morning chatter between sips of coffee amongst the husbands and wives and the three of us, my mom, Janice and I, were off to Key West.

The first few hundred miles looked like this:



Beautiful. My guitar kept my mind at bay, although at times it was hard to concentrate on what I was playing with all the beautiful scenery distracting me. (sarcasm). So hours pass and I basically take a short nap every hour or so. More than half way to the half way point, I over hear Janice and my mother talking about stopping to eat at McDonalds. Instantly I express my fervent objection to this, as I have seen "Supersize Me" and have vowed that day forth to never, ever eat anything at McDonalds for the rest of my life. On top of that, I remember being a kid on trips up north to visit family and stopping at McDonalds, only to feel like a woodchuck was giving birth in my stomach. So it took about 7 or 8 minutes to rant enough to change the choice of stop, but it was a successful attempt.



Not today, fat kids.

We got to our half way point at about 8 and stayed with their friend, Sam and her little Cocker Spaniel, Zoe. It was a quaint little beach house engulfed by large sweeping trees covered in spanish moss. It had perfectly manicured grass in the front and a figure eight shaped pool in the back, a great place for a summer escape or a break from a twelve hour drive. Poppop had finally reached Zips and would be leaving with him the next morning about an hour ahead of us.
I fell asleep immediately, at about 10, the earliest I have fallen asleep since I was in high school. Somehow by the time I wake up, even though I have assuredly fallen asleep before everyone, the house is moving with the sound of percolating coffee, soft chatter about weather, ceramic mugs clinking in a stainless steel sink. I guess there is some unspoken rule of biology that as you age, you just wake up earlier and earlier regardless of what time you fall asleep. Again, I am not really happy to be awake at 6 A.M. but the extra sleep made it a little more bearable. As we are getting ready, Sam busts out an old fashioned tape recorder so that we can play a tape that instructs us how to properly enjoy the tourist sites of Florida. Very old fashioned. We had to spend about 25 minutes opening up the back to wrap a rubber band around some of its little tape recorder gears where a belt once was. When we finally got it "working" and hit play on the tape, it was a horrible warbling you would swear was the voice of Joan Rivers in a later stage of Parkinson's or someone strangling a duck that was trying to speak English. So with our decrepit tape recorder with the intelligible instructions, we continued on our journey to our destination.

So we were a few hours into our second day (about 11AM) and I awake from a nap to hear my mother and Janice talking about the traffic report LCD warning of an accident a few miles ahead. As we pass the scene of the accident, we see the same motorcycle my grandfathers has, lying on its side, surrounded by police cars.

The Night Owl Network

You would probably never know during the day, but some of us seem to never sleep.

What is the Night Owl Network? Ever stayed up late? There you go, you've temporarily been in it.
I joined the N.O.N. sometime during my high school career as a result of destroying my circadian rhythm via late night sleep-overs chock full of Halo (yes Halo 1, when it first came out...old school), parties that went until God knows when, and fridge-raiding at my friends houses. To me, there was something so exciting about the idea of staying up so late it no longer became an option to remain conscious because of your body's daily requirement of sleep. I loved the whole idea of having to burn the midnight oil to find the most potentially exciting events of my young life. Some of my greatest memories were during sadistically late hours. After only a couple of these great nights, however, I became hooked. No longer were the late nights for just the weekends. The excitement became too strongly associated with staying up late and the next thing you know I was a night owl. I would stay up every single night. Even when everyone had gone to sleep, I persevered, often not knowing why I would continue to somber about, exhausted and alone. Computer, kitchen, TV, kitchen, computer....like some force was driving me, forcing me to stay awake as long as possible. Some nights I wouldn't even go out with my friends or to a party, I would just stay up late. I would draw or watch movies I had never seen or think of some random thing to do to fill the silent hours. The number of sunrises I would see in the years to come greatly dropped, almost to none, unless I was left with no other option than a 9-5 summer job or had to catch a plane somewhere (in which case I would simply stay up for the entire night).

In college (at Berklee) I have fond memories of walking about boston with my friend Andy, Jack Daniels, Little Stevie's Pizza at 2AM and of course, Halo (by this time Halo 3)...too many sleep cycle destroying activities to have a "normal" schedule. The biggest sleep pattern destroyer, however, was recording sessions that lasted until 6A.M. Good God these are tough. You have to try and give a perfect performance yet you are so tired you afraid you are going to burst out laughing in the middle of playing and then pass out on the floor. My friends and bandmates Al, Andy, Marty, Matt and Mike all went through these torturous night long sessions. Toward the end of it, we would begin to get slap happy and everything everyone says is for some reason hilarious. We would crank up the auto-tune and scream Cher's "Believe" into the mic....priceless.

Despite all these years of throwing myself off of balance with the rotation of the earth, I have landed the ultimate night owl career: professional musician. How perfect. We are the epitome of night owls. I will sometimes get out of a gig at 1:30 A.M. or 2:00 A.M. and have a two hour drive home. Thats 4 A.M. before I am even in my bed. That's being a part of the Night Owl Network.

As I have gotten a little older I still stay up late often, but the thrill of the night has died down, and I no longer have the fear of missing an indescribably fun time if I get in bed early or stay in. I used to get anxiety right when I tried to fall asleep almost every night. Its like my mind would all of the sudden become hyperactive and begin to think at a mile a minute....
This anxiety seems to have waned greatly and I found a few night owl secrets I have come across over the years that I would like to give some of you if you ever decide to leave the Night Owl Network:

1. Go to bed at the same time every night (even if its 3AM) really helps speed the falling asleep process.
2. Don't watch TV before bed, either!! You change your brain waves and this causes your sleep cycles to be less effective. This is a comfort thing for most people, but I recommend reading instead, you will feel better rested in the morning
3. Try stretching, yoga, or deep breathing for a few minutes before you try to get to bed
4. Take all clocks and face them away from you; when you need to fall asleep being aware of time is the worst thing you can do
5. Avoid sleeping pills at all cost! Its a last resort! I know people who CANNOT fall asleep without them, they can be very habit forming. Its better to be tired than hooked on something artificial.
6. Don't count sheep. I don't know what douche bag thought this really worked. I got to 50,258 one night. Then the sun came up.
7. Only get in/on your bed if you are about to fall asleep. This helps condition your brain to associate bed and sleep together.

I still am very much a night owl, but being such makes you easily susceptible to becoming an insomniac, which is not fun at all.
I hope some of this will help or comfort some of you night owls.

Another thing that has helped me in the past is making my self realize I am not the only one awake in the world. Anything at all helps. Thinking about people getting up for work in China, hearing the hum of a semi on a road out your window and knowing some trucker is on mile 120 en route to a delivery, remembering all the staff at the 24 hour diner you were at last sumer...anything at all to remind yourself you aren't the only person in the world who is awake can really help you rid some of that late night anxiety. At least it helped me. Anyways, what you just read is a small, hurried glimpse of the insomniac portion of my young adult life, and a song about it is in the works. This song, to be titled "Night Owl Network", is dedicated to every friend of mine who has adventured through the devils hours and lived to see the sun the next day, to everyone I have eaten with at Double T diner in Annapolis (or IHOP in St. Mary's) to all of you who have half of the late night infomercials memorized, all of you who have ever feared the digital numbers of the clock by your bed or have fallen asleep to the sound of car engines stating and birds chirping. To all you night owls out there, this will be for you.

Its about time we had some kind of anthem, don't you think?

And for all of you early birds, I wish you a friendly hello from the dark twin of the day and just remember, if you ever have trouble sleeping, never think you are the only one; some people are just starting their work day.

So, if any of you have stories of sleeplessness, or insomnia remedies to add to the list please share!

Dylan

Expanding the Repertoire

I knew this day would come eventually. General rule of thumb that one of Berklee professors told my class was that ANY artist seeking to have a solid repertoire and grasp of classic songwriting should have 250 songs in the bag. I do not have 250 songs. Probably about 45 (and that's counting originals). They have gotten me to this point in my career, but its not cutting it anymore. It's time to add some more variety. So what songs am I going to be getting under my fingers?
Here are some that I am really looking forward to learning:

The Beatles:
All You Need is Love, Blackbird

Springsteen:
Dancing in the Dark, Im on Fire

Sublime:
What I Got

Norah Jones:
Sunrise

Sara Bareillis:
Love Song

U2:
Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, With or Without You

Matchbox 20:
3A.M.

Sheryl Crow:
All I Wanna do is Have Some Fun, Favorite Mistake

Lucinda Williams:
Car Wheels on a Gravel Road

Paula Abdul:
Straight Up

Regina Spektor:
Fidelity

This will be one whole other set worth of music....but I have about 20 more full sets to learn! So what am I going to learn? Tell me! Leave a comment and let me know what songs you would like to cover! Tell me what you think of the covers I listed, too!

Dylan

My Berklee Friends

So, in lieu of the momentum the last post has created (and honestly, the biggest THANK YOU to everyone who jumped into the fray with your insight and opinions, I loved reading every single word!) I want to share something with all of you in return for all the great recommendations.

While I was at Berklee, a few of my friends were outstanding songwriters as well as great musicians. They all had unique original sounds and it really made my time at the college even better getting to write and hang out with some of them. It was pretty cool to check out their music after class and hear these great songs written by the person I was just sitting next to. So who are these people?

For starters, my good friend and piano rocker, Mike Lombardo:



Mike was in a few of my classes at Berklee. We clicked quickly because of our mutual love for good music and Halo 3. His command of the piano is beyond professional and his writing is intelligent and frequently infused with his closet-nerd sense of humor. My personal favorite track of his is called "Joke", check it out for yourself. Mike Lombardos Awesome Website. Think a Ben Folds flavor with an aftertaste of jazz, rock and wit.
He instantly won my lyric writing class over, including our teacher, when he presented this extremely clever love ballad about Power Rangers, Dancing and Halo...(the XBOX Halo).



This dude really goes the extra mile to keep in contact with his fans. If you ever want to chat on interact personally him and I are both on a cool site where unsigned artists talk to their fans, its called Too Much Awesome.

Next up is my buddy Katelyn Clampett. Yes, that's Clampett like the Beverly Hillbillies, but she doesn't look like the daughter of a toothless imbred.



Katelyn was probably one of the best singers in the entire college as well. Her writing is a jubilation of infectious melodies and gracefully balanced instrumentation presented with flawless production. She is a well versed writer, but her current niche seems to be pop. If you want to hear a few of her songs, click here for Katelyn Clampett's Beautiful Website. The song that plays on her website is called "Sweet Tea", very, very catchy! Give it a listen.
She's playing at the US open this year, if my memory serves me right and also was in the midst of peaking the interest of Brittney Spear's A&R crew for some songs...so yeah, she seems be doing pretty well for only having been out of Berklee for about a year.

Next in line is Michael Greenberg.

His live shows are where he shines the most. WIth a loop pedal, a warm, full, almost symphonic sound and a sturdy jazz improv vocabulary he will leave the music snobs even more astounded than the music laymen. His voice is the aural equivalent of caramel. The song of his that absolutely gets me is called "See You Through", its a harmonic masterpiece of epic proportion. Click here to hear the Jazzy Goodness of Michael Greenberg. Another diverse writer; he implements funk, jazz, smooth jazz, soft rock, pop and even hip-hop.






Last on this little list is Blaze Mckenzie.




Yes his real name is Blaze. No, he was not in Dodgeball. No, he doesn't have two brothers named Taze and Laze. But I wouldn't be suprised if some day soon you and I hear one of his songs on a radio station or movie. He wasn't really a particularly active member of the Berklee songwriting crowd like the previous three, but nonetheless, his writing is obviously up to par with the best. He blends folk, blues, rock, bluegrass and country into a picturesque sound that you would swear was taken from some movie you've seen. People that love the indie artist sound will probably take a liking to Blaze. Its like Death Cab meets Tom Petty meets Bjork. I recommend listening to "Wretch" and "Might". Two finely crafted songs with tons of originality and character. Want to listen? Click here for Blaze Mckenzie.

So after the rant about how bad music has become, I had to even the score. These artists are all contemporary and are, for the most part, in the popular music category (with some rock and indie flair). Paired with all the great bands you guys suggested and the ones I didn't mention in the previous post, I think we can all rest assured music will never be entirely bad. Check out a couple of them, or all of them and let me know what you think about them. At Berklee, as well as being some of my friends, they were some of my favorite artists. I might do another one of these posts with another set of a few good songwriters if you guys really like the tunes. I have to split though, Im late for a gig.

Dylan

What Happened to Music?

Now before I go into rant mode, I must admit by doing so I will be possibly committing hypocrisy against my own musical creeds. One of these creeds that I believe is true beyond all else is that there is no such thing as "good" or "bad" music. There is only music made by musicians that have developed their craft to a level where there lack of knowledge is hidden by the amount that they have accomplished and musicians that have not yet developed enough to write, play and/or perform what ideas are inside their mind without their lack of knowledge obscuring what they meant. Besides that, all music is simply a matter of taste. Another creed of mine is that you should shut up and enjoy music. Never criticize. Find music you enjoy. If you don't enjoy it, don't listen.

That having been said, what the hell is wrong with music in the past few years? Remember the 90's when artists could write? The 80's when it was cool to have a guitar solo or a high proficiency on an instrument? When production value was just enough to smooth out the sound of the CD? When the radio played more than 3 genres?

It seems like every artist that comes out is an image-heavy singer that writes nothing but glam-pop and dance music. The hooks are relentless and simple, albeit extremely catchy, but thats all the music has got going for it. The artists themselves are usually very talented singers, but as writers I can't really say the same. Every song takes place in a club or is another remake of a remake of a cliched break-up song. Song ideas have all slipped into a few generic genres that new artist rarely seem to care enough to escape. Image and fan frenzy have become more important than the quality of the art; a sad day indeed. A part of me blames the record companies for desiring money of the quality of their service of the artists they provide, but real culprit is my own generation. How many of us have taken the time to savor the lyrics of Leonard Cohen or Bob Dylan? How many of us can sing along with the Beatles other than Hey Jude? The creative fire that kept artists at the top of their craft has died, and it's up to my generation of artists to try and rekindle it.

Here are some classic lyrics to older songs, observe:

"I've seen your flag on the marble arch love is not a victory march, It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"
- Leonard Cohen, Halleluja..potent, beautiful and driving...if this song doesn't give you chills, something is wrong with you.

"Warm summer night on Copperline, I slip away past suppertime, it was woodsmoke and moonshine down on Copperline"
- James Taylor, Copperline...Within a few words you're already beginning to imagine what Copperline looks like, this is how you paint with a pen.

"Have you come here for forgiveness, have you come to raise the dead, have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?"
- U2, One...Haunting isnt it?

"Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where the wedding has been....she lives in a dream"
- Eleanor Rigby, the Beatles...The opening line in the song and you instantly feel pity for this poor Eleanor who is wishing she could have a wedding of her own.

AND NOW........................
Here are some lyrics that are currently topping the charts,
(proof of how much we either dont pay attention to the lyrics or are just borderline retarded)

be prepared to be amazed at creativity and philosophical wonder :

"Im trying to find the words to describe that girl without being disrespectful.....you's a sexy sexy bitch"
- David Guetta f. Akon...On, Akon, the guy that forcefully humps 13 year old girls on stage during his shows, no wonder.

"Soulja boy off in this oh, watch me crank it watch me roll, watch me crank dat soulja boy, then superman that oh"
- Soulja Boy.....WTF!? Was that English? Are you in the middle of repairing a grandfather clock?

"It's 4:03 and I can't sleep without you next to me I toss and turn like the sea if I drown tonight, bring me back to life"
- Shinedown...well, not as bad as soulja boy, but this is a tad cliche. Very stereotypical "I miss you" song you guys can do better.

"Im a be Im a be Im a Im a Im a be Im a be Im a be Im a Im a Im a be Im a be Im a be Im a Im a Im a be"
- Black Eyed Peas, you have fallen so far since "Joints and Jams"...what the hell is this!? No really? This is like someone with turrets AND a stutter on a Tilt-a-Whirl trying to introduce themselves using Ebonics.....rubbish! Dustin Hoffman in "Rain Man" was more concise with his words.

"Im talking bout everybody getting crunk crunk, boys trying to touch my junk junk, going to smack him if he's getting too drunk drunk"
- Kesha...Im not even going to start on this....I would undoubtedly develop carpal tunnel from how much I would have to write to approprately slam this steaming dump of a song.

"Dont be a little bitch with your chit chat, just show me where your dicks at"
- Kesha again.....see what I mean? Need I even say anything?

Can you see the difference in quality? Is it obvious now? Why do we let them get away with this crap?
Of course, you must realize, when I say "it seems like every artist", I do not mean EVERY ARTIST.
So who is keeping the good writing, originality and melodies alive? IMO, here are a few artists whose lyrics you can compare to the massive waves of crap crashing against our heads and notice they contain much more originality and character:

Muse
Damien Rice
John Mayer
Norah Jones
Rufus Wainright
Coldplay
Sara Bareillis
Eminem (Yes, even him, although I'm not personally a fan of a lot of his subject matter, like killing and raping a pregnant girl or tripping on mushrooms, but time after time he builds stories seamlessly with a ferocious tandem of rhyme scheme and emotion)
Corinne Bailey Rae

Each one of these artists seems to rise above the ranks of the others in their genres. Keep in mind these are only those who fall close to the Pop/Rock category. Each one of them has an instantly recognizable sound, strong, clever and/or original lyrics and and image that does not overshadow the talent presented on their albums.

Kudos to you elite few (including the many many artists I did not mention) who take pride in your craft. Keep rocking. If you read this and don't agree, let me know! Also post any artists who you think I left out, either from the crap list or the good list.
And remember, there really is no such thing as "good" or "bad" music...just opinions. You've heard mine. Let's hear yours.