Slappa' da Bass

The goofy Verizon song rings on my phone. The robotic female voice monotonously repeats "Call from Sean Postanowicz". I pick up.
"Hey whats up man?" he says.
"Nothing, I'm just doing some practicing"
"Playing guitar?"
"Actually bass"
"Hey what would you think about teaching bass"
"What, like...teach it to someone?
"Yeah"
"Um, I mean yeah I guess, I have only played it for like a couple weeks"
"Okay well I have this dilemma I was supposed to teach at this place......but..then I accidentally got another job somewhere else. Do you think you could write a pretty good bass lesson?"
"What kind of bass lesson, this is for a beginner, right?"
"Yeah, of course, cool, write it up, you have to give a bass lesson to one of the head instructors at this music school at 4"
"WHAT!?"
"I'll text you the address and meet you at 4, see ya"
"But wait, I.."
click.

And this is how began my career as a bass instructor. Believe it or not, this intro lesson actually went pretty well. I actually have one more introductory lesson to give and then I'm official. I love the unpredictability of music life, but I'm rushing to learn like mad because in as short as time possible, I need to go from this:



To this:




Since the moment this phone call ended, I have been in a Rocky montage but instead of punching meat I've been slappin' da bass (or at least trying to). Im trying to learn how to slap, walk, groove, shimmy, etc....so if any of you blokes out there play a mean bass, I would love for any tips, tricks, shortcuts to help speed the process of becoming a bass badass.